I know, I know, I wanted this calm stable state of mind. But this sucks bigggg time!! Getting to the end point,, being particular, well… Somehow that is better! And not this relaxxxxed chill pill..

I guess when you grow older, you tend to be more and more tolerant.. And that dangerous phenomenon of tolerance is happening to me now.  Why dangerous? It renders me static. It makes me content.. noooooo.. I better go further!

A friend quipped on his 24th bday when asked if he felt old? Nah.. I will probably feel so when I am 25 I think I am pretty much like in University even now..

And someone else said.. My god.. it hits you when your parents start looking for a girl for you !The obvious attempt at stability that it is, it works like a chaaaarrrmmm for our dear Chennai bred conservationists who are exposed to too much  modernity  suddenly and become utterly butterly confused.

I think Ill feel old when I run out of possibilities. As long as I see a way to change my life, big or small way, I would feel young..

Ahhh.. it feels great to write.. and to post!

Of a world

where

Learning is not restricted to a person’s mental ability.

And knowledge is not limited by a person’s memory.

Today we have information. Any amount that we want. Wherever, whenever and on whatever we want. So much that we have hardly a clue what we are gonna make of it.

All of a sudden, Information – which used to be valued so much a decade back, is not sufficient any more.

IMHO, Knowledge is the next big thing.

What can be defined as knowledge? When information is connected to the pre-existing mental maps in our brain, it gets converted to knowledge. There is this ah-moment, when information makes sense. When information is coherent and consistent and can be applied without verification or doubt. When information is converted to human memory.

And the next evolution in human kind must be a knowledge outburst. An outburst wherein anyone can effortlessly gain knowledge. And where there are no constraints based on age or by the brain’s state.

I think one of the greatest traumas faced by a human being is when he loses his ability to learn. Why should the brain be squeezed so much? If we are talking about survival of the fittest, especially when today’s fitness seems to be defined quite a lot by a person’s ability to grasp, why not circumvent this?

Everybody should be able to learn.

Whatever they want to.

Whenever they want to.

and so I dream..

that technology aids the human race in this quest for knowledge.

that computing helps man understand all that he ever wanted to, without as much mental effort as is required now.

and that the human brain reaches and unleashes its maximum potential.

I am enjoying this book. Its an awesome write – one which twists you around. Which distorts your belief system.  and which “attempts” to tell you the truth.

One of my friends once told me she hates it when someone gives her unprocessed or semi processed information. “It can be very dangerous” – she claimed. But I don’t mind talking about things that are semi processed or half done. It is much more exciting. It leaves the understanding to the receiver.  Interpretation is the elixir of life.

I am through with 60 % of this book. And I want to record my thoughts now.

Some picks from the Preface and Chapters

• Who am I? What happens after death? Does my mind arise exclusively from neurons in my brain? And if so, what scope is there for free will? It is the peculiar recursive quality of these questions – as the brain struggles to understand itself – that makes neurology fascinating.

• Of a patient – I glance at his medical chart, noting that he has suffered from temporal lobe epilepsy since early adolescence, and that is when “God began talking” to him. Do his religious experiences have anything to do with his temporal lobe seizures?

• Are all of us unfulfilled poets? Do we each have an untapped potential for beautiful verse and rhyme hidden in the recesses of our right hemisphere?

• Each hemisphere controls the movements of the muscles on the opposite side of your body. Your right brain makes your left arm wave and your left brain allows your right leg to kick a ball.

• The reason these two kinds of smiles (spontaneous and forced) differ is that different brain regions handle them, and only one of them contains a specialized “smile circuit”. A spontaneous smile is produced by the basal ganglia, without the thinking part of your brain involved.

At this point of the book, I was fascinated and attracted. Especially due to the fact that he was traversing science and spirituality with such ease and comfort. Love at first chapter. Wanted more of it, and I took it slowly.

• To their amazement they found that when they touched the monkey’s face, the cells in the brain corresponding to the “Dead” hand started firing vigorously. It means that you can change the map; you can alter the brain circuitry of an adult animal, and connections can be modified over distances spanning a centimeter or more.

Well let me talk a bit here. This chapter is where he starts writing about his experiments with “Phantom limbs”- The phenomenon wherein a person imagines the existence of an organ which has been amputated from his body. He talks about how it is possible that the brain can be led to believe that something exists, when it really isn’t there. This happens because the brain receives sufficient reinforcement of false data, and it would need a very twisted approach to make the person believe otherwise – that the arm/organ doesn’t really exist. This twisted person for his patients was a good old simple Mirror.

What he is quoting here seems to be a re-wording of this popular saying – truth is nothing but a lie told well. And if you contradict the truth (?) repeatedly, the brain can be led to believe otherwise.

Phew! Confusing and hard – but I give it all the benefit of doubt and continue reading.

The Zombie in the brain.

• When someone who is obviously blind can reach out and grab a letter, rotate the letter into the correct position and mail it through an opening she cannot “see”, the ability seems almost paranormal. To understand what Diane is experiencing, we need to abandon all our commonsense notions about what seeing really is. In the next few pages, you will discover that there is a great deal more to perception than meets the eye.

He discussed perception – and the difference between seeing and perceiving. Lovely chapter, but ended on a highly ambiguous note.

Well, there is lots of magic in this book. It capitalizes on our ignorance of neuroscience. It thrills us with philosophical and spiritual conclusions. It is supported by statistical agreement and human judgment.

And I am dilly-dallying between believing what he is saying, doubting it completely or just being fascinated and moving ahead.

Do read the book! It is my introduction to an unfinished science, a science which can probably gain more credibility when converted to a usable form of technology – and maybe a few steps more than Dr.VS Ramachandran’s mirror box.

I am not laughing at his years of hard work. I should “study” more first. But I find his connotations distracting, and the more I read, the less I believe him.

I will complete the book and get back.

I woke up to this rendition of Hamsanandi today. I have two words to describe it

Stirring. and Enchanting!

The power of a veena is indescribable. The soul that it carries, the mysteries and stories that it speaks of, and the depth to which you can create notes. Oh my god! This is the truest of all musical instruments that ever existed.

I am a self-taught Veena player. I have been exposed to Carnatic Music since birth, and any classically inclined person would tell you that the Veena is an instrument he/she wanted to master. Since I have heard a lot of people say this to me, my attraction towards it grew to be pretty well founded and deep rooted.

As I progress in my playing, I involve myself more. I discover every single human emotion broken down into simple musical notes and spelled out clearly on these frets. Every thought is transformed to conviction, when you play and feel it. What a gift isn’t it, to be able to create beauty so easily.

Rajesh Vaidhya evokes many a thoughts and desires to want you to learn the art that he portrays – with so much passion, energy and grace all at the same time. This is one of my all time favorites of his. A beautiful and smooth medley of various film songs in Natabhairavi.

Oh and let me confess an other reason for my obsession. Its the fact that Goddess Sarawathi (in Hindu Mythology) – the Goddess for Knowledge, Wisdom and Education is always depicted as playing the Veena. Thus in a very logical way, I feel closer to all these values when I touch her instrument.

So yeah.. I would really love to pass around the “stirring” effect, and I find myself on this journey already.

• The good old Nokia basic models – These are highly functional, dexterous, full of no-nonsense and your trusted friend. Mainly because they are resilient to all kinds of mishandling and continue to serve you faithfully.  They still have your favorite snake games, and let you type SMSes at lightning speed. Of course, they can mean three things about you: either you are super-bogged by too many features and want to keep it simple, or you do not want to move on to newer technology no-matter-what, or just that you can’t afford a high-end phone. Be wary of these judgments and make sure you know your slot.  :)
  
• The latest on the menu – iPhones, Nexus Ones, HTCs and Blackberries of the world. Hmmm. I am not a fan of these phones. Mainly because the features are so many and so distracting that you don’t feel like doing simple things -  like checking your email on your laptop and replying at your own snail-ish and convenient pace, after  giving a thought about how and what to write. I remember, in my primary school, we were taught by our IT teacher that the main advantage of an email is: “An email service doesn’t have the dangling urgency of a telephone call”. So why change the way nature (err… ) used to work, and get hooked to replying to emails at lightning speed? Why obliviate all those expensive MP3 players, IPods, Cameras and Laptops that you invested in? Use them too fellas! Don’t give it all to your mobile communicating device.
  
• On the other hand, I love good smart phones with some useful functionality – A low resolution Camera to capture anything important, MS Office tools to carry around your data, slow Web browsers whenever you really need some info. These definitely give you a certain class. And they also say “You understand technology, and you know how much to let it take over your life”.

So yeah, I ended up going in for a Nokia E63. Good looking, solid, techie and functional to the right degree. I have two of my favorite songs in it – in case my IPod runs out of charge I switch to this. I capture moments when no one around has a better camera. Pretty awesome!

The author had me in the title of the first chapter – A Healthy Disregard for the Impossible. A brilliant philosophy adopted by Page.

To quote him, ” So optimism is important. You have to be a little silly about the goals you are going to set. There is a phrase I learned in college called Having a Healthy Disregard for the impossible. That is a really good phrase. You should try to do things that most people would not”.

Awesome. I connected to it so well more because I completely believe in this. Healthily question and solve what is not possible.

I tried the GLAT ( The Google Labs Aptitude Test).  As intimidating as it was, it was just extremely stimulating.  I immediately googled for the answers after pondering over them for a while, and was happy to find at least 3-4 of mine to be acceptable. I would recommend any logic-loving person to attempt it. And I simply loved the answer to the third one.  I am pasting it from the GLAT page.

This is a deceptive puzzler. Hint: Try reading each digit aloud from left to right.

One
One One
Two One
One Two One One
One One One Two Two One

Still stumped? Here’s a second hint / spoiler:

One
One One
Two One
One Two, One One
One One, One Two, Two One

The Solution: Each line describes the numbers in the line above it. So the next line would read: 312211 aka Three Ones, Two Twos, One One.

Well, Google is a university more than a company, no two ways about it. I am really enjoying the book right now and taking a lot of inspiration from these guys. Cheers to GOOOGOL.

I came to Facebook again. But this time around, I found too much information about the same people – what they like, which groups and activities they are a part of, which games they play, where they have been traveling, whom they have been hanging out with, bla bla – and all this confused me.

Trust me, a year back, I kinda used to dislike Google chatting, since it prevented me from thinking about what I was saying. I preferred snail emailing to chatting as it was more static and easier to handle.

And today, I find myself preferring Gtalk to Facebook. Why? Simply because Gtalk is not a social networking site where I have to keep projecting an image of my Self. Gtalk is a directed, simple two-dimensional medium wherein I can have a one-on-one conversation with a person I am actually interested to talk to and know about. Wow! Now all of a sudden this has become a privilege, thanks to Facebook and twitter.

Suddenly, I feel relieved that I have some real people who are not too addicted to Facebook, and who are not looking at my “information” to know me, but are going beyond it to spend real time with me outside these news updates. And hey, I honestly feel this change happened in just the past one year, when all of us got overly addicted to Facebook.

Social Networking with people who live in the same city and area as you – Quite a bad idea. I am very much for picking up my landline,calling up my friend and catching up especially when I live in the same country as him/her, and where local rates are the same as internet costs. I want something real dude – like a human voice maybe? And not a profile picture to connect to a person. Eeks. Creeps me out.

I think its high time someone started a Facebook Regulatory Board – on what can be done and what can’t be done on Facebook. It is such a mess otherwise. And NO. Privacy settings hardly matter and hardly help.

Well yes, I do hear some of your counter arguments btw – That Facebook helps me market my events, it helps me connect to older school buddies, it obliviates hierarchies and protocols between people. Hmm…. Alright..  I can accept that to an extent. But whatever happened to respecting privacy? And its not even about others’ privacy here. Respecting your own privacy – what happened to that? Its lost. Gone. I find a lot of people not caring or thinking about what they put up on Facebook, I find myself in that situation too, mainly because Facebook started as a Fun, light-hearted means to pass time. Suddenly you wake up to the fact that its a lot more of a serious affair. Highly unsettling.

Anyway.. Being the optimist that I am and desperate to conclude things on a good note like Bollywood movies, I do accept that dear old facebook can be positive at times, which is why I have still not terminated my account there. For instance, there was almost a virtual, spontaneous school reunion –  thanks to an old class photo which someone posted (it happened a few days back and delighted me ). Everyone started commenting, feeling nostalgic about old teachers and old life, thanks to this photo - as high as 120 comments in a day!! Or a friend who was able to get in touch with me when she really needed my help, but was in some remote part of the world and had lost my mail. Now that – is truly awesome!

Born in Philadelphia and a journalist at the “New York Post”, He was one of the outstanding authorities on global politics in Russia, India and the Middle East, where he spent several years. The man’s style of writing is completely classic, be it the way the sentences dance around before coming to the point, or the way the narrative is complete and detailed, or even the way the conversations are brought completely alive.

I have attempted to read this book several times before, and I have always got stuck at the chapter which describes Gandhiji’s youthful and bachelor days. This time I directly skipped to this chapter titled “My week with Gandhi”. A beautifully written chapter, and I am going to type out two pages from this chapter which have impacted me heavily.

Old people are prone to reminiscences. Lloyd George would commence to answer a question on current events and soon be talking about his conduct of the first World War or a campaign for social reform early in the century. At seventy-three, Gandhi never reminisced. His mind was on things to come. Years did not matter to him because he thought in terms of the unending future. Only the hours mattered because they were the measure of what he could contribute to that future.

Gandhi had more than influence, he had authority, which is less yet better than power. Power is the attribute of a machine; authority is the attribute of a person. Statesmen are varying combinations of both. The dictator’s constant accretion of power, which he must inevitably abuse, steadily robs him of authority. Power feeds on the blood and tears of its victims. Authority is fed by service, sympathy and affection.

One evening, I watched Mahadev Desai spin. I said I had been listening carefully to Gandhi and studying my notes and wondering all the time what was the source of his hold on people ; I had come to the tentative conclusion that it was his passion.

‘That is right’, Desai said.

‘What is the root of his passion?’, I asked.

‘This passion’, Desai explained, ‘is the sublimation of all the passions that flesh is heir to.’

‘Sex?’

‘Sex and anger and personal ambition…. Gandhi is under his own complete control. That generates tremendous energy and passion.’

It was a subdued, purring passion. He had a soft intensity, a tender firmness and an impatience cotton-wooled in patience. Gandhi’s colleagues and the British sometimes resented his intensity, firmness and impatience. But he retained their respect, often their love, through his softness, tenderness and patience.

Gandhi sought approval; he was very happy when the great Tagore agreed with him. But he could defy the whole world and his political next-of-kin.

Gandhi was a strong individual, and his strength lay in the richness of his personality, not in the multitude of his possessions. His goal was To be, not To have. Happiness came to him through self-realization. Fearing nothing, he could live the truth. Having nothing, he could pay for his principles.

Mahatma Gandhi is the symbol of the unity between personal morality and public action. When conscience dwells at home but not in the workshop, office, classroom and market-place, the road is wide open to corruption and cruelty and to dictatorship.

Gandhi enriched politics with ethics. He faced each morning’s issues in the light of eternal and universal values. He always distilled a permanent element out of the ephemeral. Gandhi thus broke through the framework of usual assumptions which cramp a man’s action. He discovered a new dimension of action. Unconfined by considerations of personal success or comfort, he split the social atom and found a new source of energy. It gave him weapons of attack against which there was often no defence. His greatness lay in doing what everybody could do but doesn’t.

‘Perhaps he will not succeed’, Tagore wrote of the living Gandhi. ‘Perhaps he will fail as the Buddha failed and as Christ failed to wean men from their iniquities, but he will always be remembered as one who made his life a lesson for all ages to come.’

Past four years, every visit to India always consisted of a “I’m home, bless me, am good, how is your health” visit to my grandparents’ , and a “I had a lovely holiday. I’m off to complete my course, I will sing a song for you, bless me, and don’t strain yourself too much” visit. This time I am in the “Do it now” mode. So decided to experience their life for a day.

They live in interesting times. Thatha is deeply religious, spiritual, forward looking and whom we would definitely classify as “cool”. Always pulling Patti’s leg, and completely in love with her. Very updated on cricket, politics and all whereabouts of the family tree. Tech savvy, and uses every electronic gadget at home to the fullest. Completely mindless of his age and graces every possible known person’s important occasions with his strong presence.

Patti is contented. She cooks, makes sweets with the same vigour and quality as 10 years ago, accompanies her husband everywhere, and dresses up so well the minute she knows she has to go out. Retired life I tell you!

So I enter their beyond-cute home at Vadapalani around 8 am in the morning. Thatha is totally busy on the phone and does not notice me, assuming am one of Mama’s neighbor friends. He was like, “yaro paiyan vandhurkan pa” (some boy is home) and continues talking. Ok thats because of the ever decreasing length of my hair – I love it short.

The house door is totally open, and Patti is nowhere in sight. Wondering how many people can just gain free access like this, I explore the house and find her in the backyard. She drops her vessels and does her “Why such short hair, why don’t you eat properly, where is your mom, ok come, I have made coconut burfi for you”.  Trust me, the quality of her sweets are undescribable. How she manages to gather the energy and make them, phew, I shall never know.

Fiiiiinally Thatha notices me. He is like, “Oh its you!!!! Ha ha ha ha! Come come! Where is your mom?” as I stare grumpily at him for not recognizing me. He tossed around his comment by adding, “Here comes my girl, the boldest in our family. As good as a son aren’t you”.  Well, I chose to fall for that compliment and started unwinding to all the undivided attention from them.

After breakfasting on idlis and dosas, I spent some time in their lovely lovely Puja room. Thatha has a very unique collection, and the entire family knows the way it is arranged and maintained by-heart and by memory. It kind of binds us all. He has this lovely oonjal (swing) in silver on which he keeps his favorite idols. It is just fascinating to watch him bathe them in water, milk, honey, and water again.

Thatha had some work to finish, so I was now left to entertain myself.

My dad and mom have this obsessive compulsive habit of cleaning and turning around every corner of their house the minute they step in. They have given up on asking them to try and keep it better, so every time they just simply reorganize it themselves. And that’s exactly what I did! Dusted out shelves, changed sheets, cleaned bathrooms, organized their kitchen, quite a lot to do actually. One good thing is, I dint throw away their favorite antiques which my mom mercilessly does every time she goes. So Thatha Patti were beyond joyous.

Patti and I spent some time in the kitchen cooking, while she broadcast the latest family information to me. A few random questions about my life were shot, and I managed with some vague half-truth answers. Oh and we kept fighting about which vessel could be used for what. The worst was I completely questioned her “pathu” logic, and was trying hard to keep up with her own rules of cleanliness, which made no sense to me whatsoever. But yeah, I was in no mood to change their life in any way, so I just let myself soak in it totally.

Thatha was done with his process of getting ready for the day, and he made me sing a few songs. He explained some beautiful verses to me, and also laughed at my Tamil illiteracy. But he was proud of me – “you were always one of the religious ones. I know it will keep you in place”. I just smiled quietly. I admire my Thatha very deeply, and to this day, enjoy listening to his lovely anecdotes from every Hindu scripture under the sun.

After this the day kind of dragged on.. We lunched, I rested, attended a bit to Patti’s tired out legs, and was randomly wandering in the house. Mama was going out somewhere, and an elaborate plan was made to decide how I would be dropped at my next destination. Of course, everyone was like, “We know you manage everywhere on your own Kanna, but this is India, and you do not know anything here”. Lol, I did not even attempt to stop them from taking care of me, I knew it was impossible.

A precious day with my Thatha Patti.  Loved it

But then why are they referred to as  ”mere words”?

Whenever they are empty, and fail to have a purpose.

A word spoken with the intention to silence a person’s question can be considered as not  ”mere words”, but as an act.

A word uttered that brings about a smile and gives comfort is almost an act, but only if the word is spoken truly.

A word spoken to change and improve,

A word spoken to express love, is so truly one of the best words spoken.

A word that hurts is definitely an act, but not a desirable one.

A word that exposes truth may not always be an act, since truth hurts too.

A word spoken to bring about peace and silence is part of silence. Silence at the wrong times cannot be appreciated.

Count these word “Acts” of your life. May every word that we utter be a word “Act”.